It Took Me 9 Months to Make You ..

My kids hear me say this all the time ..
'Look after yourself - it took me 9 months to make you!'
'When you hurt yourself it hurts me too - it took me 9 months to make you!'
They laugh at me - probably thinking - my crazy mother thinks she is some sort of artist!
Well I am, I seem to think I make beautiful kids - and I DON'T want to see them hurt, whether its from a fall or a fight - it hurts me too.
I think most mothers feel the same.
My Eldest - Bean - goes away on camp tomorrow, and besides the worry of his medical conditions ... I just don't actually trust any other person to look after my child. I hate that he will be on a bus that I am not driving .. I hate that he will be doing activities without my supervision.
Face it - no one will look after your child as well as yourself. No matter what they say .. they do not have the connection that you have with your child. I would die for my kids ... if it meant pushing them out of the way or jumping in to save and perishing myself - I would do it without a moments hesitation. 'Supervisors' do NOT have this kind of commitment to my kid.
And that is the part of excursions and camps that I do not like. One bit.
So tomorrow and until Friday - I have to hand my child over and trust that he is going to come back home. Now don't get me wrong - I am NOT the fun police .. I KNOW he is going to have a blast .. my best memories from school are from camp. I DO want him to go ... but there is a voice screaming in my head to keep him home, safe.
So as much as I have to 'trust' the teachers .. I really won't - so I am going to have to trust God to keep my boy safe until he comes back home.
I know we have to let our kids grow up and yadda yadda bullshit bullshit. BUT he is only 12 (and a boy which actually makes him what ? 8??!!) .. and whether he is 12 or 22 or 40 .. he is always going to be my baby and I am always going to worry.
Oh Yeah - and it doesn't help at all when the teacher tells you 'No .. if he does happen to have an allergic reaction, we can not get him to hospital on time - in fact if any of us get bitten by a snake, I know we are not going to make it'.
ahhhh thanks for that, I will add that to my keep me awake at night things to think about.
So Bean ... remember - it took me 9 months to make you ... but I am still tweaking perfection - so look after yourself my man and come home safe.
Oh - and have fun - make sure you have LOTS of fun.
xox